Sometimes people will ask me what I call myself.
Am I a stunt man? Am I a comedian?
Am I an author, an actor?
And you know what I am? I’m an attention whore.
Hey GQ. I’m Steve-O and these are my absolute essentials.
Let’s get into it.
I’m a real road warrior,
so I go everywhere with everything I need,
and this carry-on luggage
I could very easily replace,
but what I cannot replace and I cannot live without
is this back scratcher.
I got it at Whole Foods in maybe 2009.
My body is generally becoming decrepit,
so I can’t reach areas where I have itches,
and then the back scratcher is just super important to me.
I could never replace it.
It’s the greatest back scratcher of all time.
Out of fear that I may lose it, I’ve tried to replace it,
and there just isn’t one out there
that can do the trick.
My travel Waterpik. [water trickling]
For all my years of hardcore partying and drug abuse,
I never took care of my teeth and gums,
and I ended up with all kinds of problems.
There was a time when I got in the Jackass van,
and Wee Man said, Aww dude, [beep] Steve-O, your breath,
And Knoxville said, Saying Steve-O has bad breath
is like saying Wee Man is short.
So this thing is absolutely crucial.
Here’s how it works.
[Waterpik motor running]
[Waterpik motor running]
It blasts all this stuff out from in between your teeth,
which would go rotten and stink.
So I count my Waterpik as toiletries,
which are very important to me.
I’ve got my toiletry kit right here,
and when I check into a hotel room on the road,
I then take a picture of my wiener in the mirror
with the toiletries and I send it to my girl.
And among my toiletries,
I have an absolute essential in my pill planner.
It’s called Zoloft, man.
I went to therapy back in 2013,
and this therapist was telling me
that he feels that I have a lot of anxiety
and that Zoloft would help me,
and I’m like, Dude, I’m a clean and sober guy, you know?
I don’t take drugs.
Turned out the therapist was a clean and sober guy too,
and I just decided to humor him.
I’ve since found that Zoloft really helps me.
If I stop taking it, my mind can go to super dark places.
If I am taking it, full steam ahead baby.
Gonna have my speakers. You know it.
‘Cause I gotta rock.
I’m not gonna count these speakers as essential,
because they’re so replaceable.
But I do love them because they’ve got these marks.
When I would do meet and greets after my shows on tour,
I’d pull out a marker to sign stuff,
and I would push it in, jam it on there,
so every one of these dots represents
a different show on tour.
You know, I will count the speakers as essential,
but they’re just not that sexy.
[Steve-O laughs] What’s se- [Steve-O laughs]
What I really think is essential is
the markers I travel with.
Markers are totally essential to me.
You know, I’m big into signing my merch.
I’m ready to do it with white paint pen,
with black marker, with silver.
I’m so proud of my autograph.
I practiced my autograph for years before anybody wanted it,
and after signing it for the longest time,
all of a sudden I realized that when I write my signature,
I’m actually drawing a penis.
I mean, it’s fascinating.
I got to show you. I got to show you.
You got a piece of paper?
Yeah. [crew laughing]
And if it’s a really important autograph,
then I’ll do #dickograph
This is for you guys. [Steve-O and crew laugh]
I’m an attention whore,
and I gotta be ready to film attention-seeking behavior
at all times.
That’s three different 4K cameras,
and I’m ready to load up big memory cards,
and then back it up on the hard drive.
And then in virtually real time,
edit it on the computer.
Two really killer lights.
What I operate with is a full blown studio in my backpack.
It’s safe to say that camera stores are my happy place.
Just had a really great experience
at a camera store in Washington, DC
on the same day that I got arrested for climbing
on the Lincoln Memorial.
Years ago my tour manager said,
You should come out with your own hot sauce,
because you just love hot sauce so much,
and I was kinda resistant to it,
but then we decided to give it a shot.
And we came up with Steve-O’s Hot Sauce For Your Butthole.
We tried all different recipes
and combined multiple ones of them.
There was the Triple-X Habanero I really liked,
but also the Habanero Garlic.
They had to go together,
so technically I’m a chef.
The other flavor that we just came out with,
which is called Steve-O’s Butthole Destroyer Hot Sauce,
the top three ingredients are the three hottest peppers
in the world: Scorpion, Ghost, and Carolina Reaper.
So that’s what’s filling up the bottle,
but people are buying it.
Candidly, my diet’s kind of all over the place.
Being sensitive to my nutrition needs,
I’m counting this as totally essential.
It’s called Athletic Greens AG1.
This is how I start every day. I meditate in the morning.
I get water to hydrate, and I pour it into the water,
my Athletic Greens AG1,
and it’s great because then I can do it on an empty stomach.
It gives me all of the nutrition I need.
I can feel good about eating like a jerk
for the rest of the day, and it’s actually delicious too,
and they’re not paying me to say that right now.
So when I finish my Athletic Greens in the morning,
now I’m hydrated and I feel good about just pounding coffee.
So I fill up this 24-ounce thermos. [Thermos thuds]
Aw man, this is up there on the essentials dude.
Plus, this one in particular
I’ve managed to not lose through months of touring.
What I love about it so much is that it’s got this button,
which is like a trigger, you know?
It’s not gonna spill unless you pull the trigger.
[Steve-O imitates gun sound]
So that’s nine, and now it comes down
to the most magical essential of them all.
Wendy. [Steve-O pats lap] Up, up.
[Steve-O pats lap]
Up, up. [Steve-O chuckles]
My wonderful Wendy from Peru.
I actually found her in the streets of Peru.
The video I made of bringing Wendy home from Peru got
more views than any video I’ve ever put on the internet.
That’s a real kick in the nuts.
She comes with me everywhere.
She’s a bonafide, legit service dog.
She’s with me on every airplane.
She’s with me on every tour date.
She actually performs in my show.
I mean, she’s just a phenomenal dog.
I mean, she’s extraordinary.
She’s a Belgian Malinois and, evidently, Xanax mix.
[Steve-O and crew laugh]
So there we have it folks.
I cannot live without these items,
and your attention means the world to me.
So thank you for watching,
and man, take care of the ones you love dudes.
Woo! [Steve-O laughs]