There was so much to process on the season finale of And Just Like That…—the podcast news! The they-mitzvah ! Miranda’s dazzling array of insane life choices! But to be honest, my brain is stuck on a scene that took place less than a third of the way through the episode. I’ll describe it as neutrally as I can: Elusive, sexy Che finally invites love-addled Miranda to meet their family, but much to Miranda’s dismay, Che’s actual agenda for the evening is announcing that they’re relocating to Los Angeles for pilot season…in song. Yeah.
I don’t identify as a Che hater (although I do think they and Miranda are dramatically wrong for one another), so don’t mistake me when I say that watching them belt the Beach Boys’ “California Girls”—ostensibly to Miranda but really to the room, in a kind of narcissistic half serenade—was legitimately stomach turning. To be fair, though, this is how I feel about all public, unscheduled musical performances, with the obvious exception of karaoke, which is and always will be my favorite drunken pastime.
I hate to be a grinch about this, but I feel very strongly that commanding everyone’s attention to sing, much less to announce a life change in song in the presence of both your grandmothers, is the opposite of hot. It’s cringe! If I were five years younger, I might even be so bold as to say it was cheugy! If a person as attractive and confident as Che can’t pull off a rendition of “California Girls,” who can??? Certainly not us lesser mortals, that’s for sure. A big part of why Che’s song didn’t work for me was the context: Watching Miranda’s face as they grabbed the mic, it’s clear that she was expecting to hear something romantic and just for her, but instead Che sings about…well, themselves. Do I think Miranda deserved a full-on serenade? No, not particularly, but it was still hard to watch her realize that she wasn’t getting one, even though Che does invite her to come out to L.A. (which I hope we’ll get to see glimpses of in season two).
Che is far from the first to make me nauseous with public singing; I also hated it in 10 Things I Hate About You, despite the objective adorableness of Heath Ledger trying to win over Julia Stiles with Frankie Valli’s “Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You.” Yes, Valentine’s Day is coming up, and yes, I do like to consider myself somewhat romantic, but public and unprompted singing will simply never be it for me, and it’s a scourge I hope we can work together to eradicate. Thank you for listening.