I learned to put the needs of others first — now I’m trying to unlearn it.

I grew up in a loving family whose members tried their best. But, at that time, the culture of evangelicalism and home schooling decreed that being “good” meant prioritizing the needs of others and disregarding my own. I desperately needed to be “good” because that was synonymous with being loved. This is something I still struggle with today. It crops up in so many places, including in medical settings: I don’t want to be a burden, even when I’m paying people to help me. I have needs, but I often downplay them, which makes a larger mess than actually just admitting that I need help. I’m working on it.

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