Over dinner last week in London, a friend who is an expert at taking nudes—we’ll call her Emily, because that’s her real name—told me the following. “My main advice is to keep mixing up your angles, because we all have one or two go-to poses where you know your body looks how you like it, but if you keep sending variations on the same picture it’s diminishing returns,” she said. “For them and, more importantly, for you.”
Emily touches on a crucial point here: Who are we actually sending the nude to? Really, it’s about pleasing yourself. No guilt there. Nudes are the perfect example of a quick and easy dopamine hit: you look hot, snap, you send it to some thirsty receiver on the other end, they love it. They tell you they love it, and you feel totally validated. And so the cycle continues.
But only—and Emily is right—if you keep shaking things up. Those dopamine receptors get desensitized. And that’s why Emily bought a selfie stick. “I love it,” she says. “I just roll around on the bed and take pictures from all sorts of weird angles. Most look scary but every now and again you can surprise yourself with your own body which feels amazing! Also, you can get enough distance to get tits and ass in the same shot which is always a challenge.” We could all take a leaf out of Emily’s book: investing time, getting the right equipment, and experimenting to find our best angles.
But of course, after the taking, there’s the sending. And as is the case with online dating, or anything virtual, there’s an inherent risk. Before sending a nude, it’s good to get a sense of the character of the person you’re sending it to. Do they seem like they are going to be respectful? In this day and age, it can be hard to tell, but—a key tip—keep your face, or any distinguishing features, out of the image. Until you trust them at least. Also, a note on unsolicited nudes: don’t send them. Always ask first. That’s not hot.
And finally, after you’ve sent your truly show-stopping nude, relax. Remember there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a picture of yourself naked. There is nothing wrong with your body. There’s nothing wrong with being horny and wanting to secure the bag. It is an expressive act. It is our generation’s love letter. So go for it. Be a poet. Take a nude.