Carolyn Hax: In-laws reject their grandchild’s combined last name



Your in-laws stirred up this trouble, but now, unfortunately, it’s yours unless you can neutralize it somehow — by finding their pettiness too sad, for example, or too pathetic to be worth mounting any resistance to it. If you can’t get to a place honestly of no fluffs left to give — about what they think of your name choices or what name they use — then it’s important to talk to your husband about coming up with a strategy together to neutralize your anger. Yes, they’re your feelings and are therefore yours to manage, but your nursing along a seething hatred for his parents is a problem that will quickly become his, too.



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