A Totally Normal Conversation With Nathan Fielder

Kor Skeete: I need to have my credit card.

NF: You shouldn’t have to have your credit card, Kor, for Zoom. It should let you sign on for free if you just have a link.

KS: Well, on my end it says credit card, unless there’s another way. 

NF: Do you want to just try pressing the link, Kor? If you have the app, you can just press the link. Right? And then, what happens then? Hello? Kor? Kor? I’m going to try sending you a phone number. Can you hear me, Kor? Do you want to try this? Can you hear me, Kor? 

KS: I’m at 20%, going up to 100.

NF: 20% what?

KS: To put it into play.

NF: 20% download, Kor? Is that what it is?

KS: Yeah. 20% download.

NF: Okay.

[Minutes pass.]

KS: I am…connecting. 

[Kor joins the Zoom, blurry and silent.]

NF: Oh, there. There we go. Okay, okay. We got him? There we go. Oh, I can’t hear him. Oh, audio. There we go. Connecting to audio. He did not connect to audio. You need to allow your audio. I can’t hear you. Are you on wifi, Kor? Are you on wifi? Kor? I can’t hear you, Kor. 

KS: Can you hear me? 

NF: Yeah, we can hear you.

NF: Kor, where are you right now? 

KS: It’s not a good visual, huh? 

NF: No. 

KS: You can barely make me out, right? 

NF: Yeah. 

KS: These lights are awful here. Yeah. 

NF: Kor, where are you right now?

KS: I’m just a visual blur, but here I am.

NF: There’s a lot of music where you are.

KS: Yeah. Yeah. Maybe I need to move away from the music.

NF: Kor, do you want to just do a conference call? Kor, I’m just going to call you.

[Nathan leaves the Zoom and calls Kor on the phone.]

NF: Hello? Hello, can you hear me, Kor? Kor? Kor, are you there? Kor? Kor?

KS: Okay.

NF: Hey, Kor, are you there?

KS: Yeah. 

NF: Hello? Your reception’s kind of bad. 

KS: Let’s see. Okay, wait a second here. I’m moving to the area where there’s less noise. All right. Noise. Oh shit. Better reception?

NF: Are you outdoors?

KS: No, no. I’m still indoors. 

NF: Would it be better reception outside? Because—

KS: There’s no wifi outside.

NF: You need wifi for just a normal call? We’re on a normal call now. 

KS: Oh, okay. All right. That’s true. Okay. Can you hear the music in the background?

NF: It’s really tough. Is there a place where you can sort of get good audio?

KS: I have my speaker on at this point. Let’s see. This is about as high as it gets.

NF: Do you want to try not using speaker? Just using normal.

[Kor turns off speakerphone.]

NF: That’s a lot better. That’s a lot better.

KS: All right. Finally. Geez, this investigative journalism stuff is taxing. 

Jacket, $1,700, by Dior Men. Shirt, $750, by Gucci. Jeans, $98, by Levi’s. Belt (price upon request), by Ann Demeulemeester. Sunglasses, $750, by Jacques Marie Mage.

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